Making conflicts in relationships work for us.
Having a conflict with your partner is never any fun. However, it can be an opportunity to create growth within the relationship when you have a formula to work with.
Are you stuck in conflict? Try these three steps.
1.) Take a break. Ideally, take 20 minutes to self-soothe, relax and recover so you can come back to the conflict level-headed and with emotions regulated.
2.) Focus on what you need, NOT what you want to remove. We are good at naming the parts we don't like and not so excellent at pinpointing the factors we want.
3.) Compromise. What are you flexible on, and what are you not flexible on? Brainstorm possible solutions together and try one out. Try it out and then evaluate it. Keep coming back to the drawing board until you find a solution that works for both of you.
Conflict is inevitable and will be a part of your relationship. The goal is for you to learn how to make it work for you rather than against you.
Contributing Author: Rachel Elder is a couples therapist and relationship coach. She is passionate about helping individuals and couples build stronger relationships that can last a lifetime. Learn more about Rachel by going to racheleldercoaching.com