Decisions
When faced with a large decision, we tend to lack rituals and procedures.
Many times we mindlessly make them. We might put it off, rush into a decision or lean on the nearest person for advice. Decision making is a skill that can be developed. The chief problem of wise decision making is a lack of sufficient perspectives on the problem. As we juggle these ideas we can begin to synthesize different perspectives.
Six different perscpectives to be exact: the Parent, the Enemy, Our Gut, Death, Caution, and Courage.
Parent: What would a parent say? Were those parents competitive or harmful to our wellbeing? Were they well meaning or struggled with not wanting you to be harmed from things they had already learned.
Enemy: They can have deep insights into us which they may want to use against us and for their gain. They appreciate our struggles, temptations and weaknesses in a way that our loved ones do not. Use this constructive insight in a way that may be quite opposite of what a foe may want.
Gut: This is an accumulation of past decision making lessons. Sometimes we have a hard time making sense of what is going on in the Gut. Invite it to the table, sit with it and listen.
Death: The ticking time clock can get us into a frightening headspace of knee jerk reactions. Yet it highlights our responsibilities. This terrifying agent may lend us a perverse new sort of confidence to tackle challenges.
Caution: There is a huge amount to be lost or possible hurt feelings. Caution does not look down on the idea of compromise however, it recognizes that there are no ideal options for the imperfect beings that we all are. Caution functions with bravery.
Courage: We need to relearn the art of Courage and remember that the happiest lives have invariably had points in time where people did a slightly unexpected or weird thing, took a gamble and won. Courage and Caution need to fight this one out without any presumption of victory on either side.
Now comes the job of sifting through the advice.
Some of it stands to be self serving. Some will test our old habits. The possibilities of developing a decision making process will expand and a more tolerable way will emerge.
Define the problem you are facing.
Answer the dilemma through one perspective.
Sit with it and write it down.
Repeat this 4 more times with different perspectives.
Finally what has emerged from this process?