How do we learn to speak from the heart?
So often communication breaks down in a relationship.
You can see it everywhere. People defending their position, internally working on a rebuttal before even hearing the other person’s point. Ultimately missing the message. We’re often unable to speak in a way that allows us to connect with the other person, even if we agree. These kind of miscommunications separate us from those we live with, work around and interact with.
Slow it down by using compassion.
Compassion is not a passive place of being. It is an active state. We struggle with compassion because of a misunderstanding of how to be compassionate. A place to begin understanding this would simply be to begin with a question. How do we create a space where we can find out how to become a more integral part of this world?
Let’s look at how we become less separate, isolated and afraid. It starts with loving-kindness for ourselves. Yes, toward ourselves first. This in turn becomes loving-kindness for others. These barriers that are between ourselves and others begin to come down. These barriers come down from around our own hearts allowing us to be less afraid of other people. We are better able to hear what is being said, we are more able to see what is in front of our eyes and work with what happens rather than to struggle against it.
The way to act compassionately is to exchange oneself for the other, placing ourselves in the other person’s shoes allowing us to know what is needed.
You will be able to hear.
Because you gave yourself compassion first you will be able to exchange that compassion with another.
This will make way for you to speak from your heart.